{"id":2864,"date":"2025-02-27T19:01:11","date_gmt":"2025-02-27T18:01:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/?p=2864"},"modified":"2025-03-01T11:25:37","modified_gmt":"2025-03-01T10:25:37","slug":"when-clients-say-no-to-coming-to-the-session-what-not-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/?p=2864","title":{"rendered":"When Clients Say ‘No to coming to the session\u2019: What\u00a0Not\u00a0to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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In play therapy, we often focus on strategies to encourage engagement and build trust when a child refuses to attend a session. However, it\u2019s equally important to recognize what not<\/em> to do in these situations. A misstep can reinforce resistance, damage trust, or even create unnecessary power struggles. Here are some key things to avoid when a child refuses to attend their play therapy session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Don\u2019t Take It Personally<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A child\u2019s refusal to come to therapy is rarely about you. It\u2019s easy to feel frustrated or question your approach, but resistance often stems from factors beyond the therapist\u2019s control\u2014such as anxiety, fear of change, past experiences, or difficulties in their day. Taking it personally can lead to unnecessary self-doubt or even frustration that the child may pick up on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Don\u2019t Force or Pressure the Child<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Forcing or coercing a child into the therapy room can create a power struggle and may ultimately reinforce their resistance. Children in therapy, especially those with trauma histories, need to feel that they have control over their experiences. If they feel backed into a corner, they may withdraw further or develop negative associations with the therapy space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Avoid Over-Explaining or Rationalizing<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s tempting to explain why therapy is important or why the child should attend, especially when caregivers or school staff are involved. However, too much talking\u2014especially when the child is already in a resistant state\u2014can increase their anxiety or make them feel even more pressured. Instead of lengthy explanations, simple, calm statements acknowledging their feelings can be far more effective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Don\u2019t Let Others Handle It Poorly<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, well-meaning teachers, parents, or school staff may try to intervene by using bribery, threats, or excessive persuasion. Phrases like \u201cIf you don\u2019t go, you won\u2019t get screen time later\u201d<\/em> or \u201cCome on, just try, you have to\u201d<\/em> can make the child feel like therapy is a chore or punishment rather than a safe space. If necessary, gently guide the adults involved to take a different approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Don\u2019t Dismiss the Refusal as Just \u2018Defiance\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easy to assume that a child who refuses is simply being oppositional, but refusal is often a form of communication. A child may be expressing discomfort, fear, or a need for control. Dismissing their resistance as defiance without exploring the underlying cause can lead to missed opportunities for deeper therapeutic work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Don\u2019t Immediately Abandon the Session<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

While you shouldn\u2019t force the child to participate, completely giving up on the session right away might reinforce the idea that avoiding therapy is an option. Instead, be flexible\u2014sometimes meeting them where they are (literally and emotionally), adjusting the environment, or offering a different kind of engagement (e.g., talking outside the therapy room) can open the door to participation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Don\u2019t Assume This Means Therapy Isn\u2019t Working<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A refusal doesn\u2019t mean therapy is failing. In fact, resistance can be a sign of progress\u2014it may indicate that difficult emotions are surfacing or that the child is testing whether the therapist will remain consistent and accepting. Instead of seeing it as a setback, consider it a moment of potential growth and trust-building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Final Thoughts<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Resistance in play therapy is normal, and how we handle it matters. By avoiding force, frustration, or over-explaining, and instead focusing on patience, curiosity, and flexibility, we can turn moments of refusal into opportunities for deeper understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you encountered resistance in your play therapy practice? What strategies have you found helpful? Let\u2019s keep the conversation going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Szilvia Veber PGDip<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Certified Play Therapist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Member of the PTUK & PTI ( A Registry Approved by the PSA)<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In play therapy, we often focus on strategies to encourage engagement and build trust when a child refuses to attend a session. However, it\u2019s equally important to recognize what not to do in these situations. A misstep can reinforce resistance, damage trust, or even create unnecessary power struggles. Here are some key things to avoid when a child refuses to attend their play therapy session. 1. Don\u2019t Take It Personally A child\u2019s refusal to come to therapy is rarely about you. It\u2019s easy to feel frustrated or question your approach, but resistance often stems from factors beyond the therapist\u2019s control\u2014such as anxiety, fear of change, past experiences, or difficulties in their day. Taking it personally can lead to unnecessary self-doubt or even frustration that the child may pick up on. 2. Don\u2019t Force or Pressure the Child Forcing or coercing a child into the therapy room can create a power struggle and may ultimately reinforce their resistance. Children in therapy, especially those with trauma histories, need to feel that they have control over their experiences. If they feel backed into a corner, they may withdraw further or develop negative associations with the therapy space. 3. Avoid Over-Explaining or Rationalizing It\u2019s tempting to explain why therapy is important or why the child should attend, especially when caregivers or school staff are involved. However, too much talking\u2014especially when the child is already in a resistant state\u2014can increase their anxiety or make them feel even more pressured. Instead of lengthy explanations, simple, calm statements acknowledging their feelings can be far more effective. 4. Don\u2019t Let Others Handle It Poorly Sometimes, well-meaning teachers, parents, or school staff may try to intervene by using bribery, threats, or excessive persuasion. Phrases like \u201cIf you don\u2019t go, you won\u2019t get screen time later\u201d or \u201cCome on, just try, you have to\u201d can make the child feel like therapy is a chore or punishment rather than a safe space. If necessary, gently guide the adults involved to take a different approach. 5. Don\u2019t Dismiss the Refusal as Just \u2018Defiance\u2019 It\u2019s easy to assume that a child who refuses is simply being oppositional, but refusal is often a form of communication. A child may be expressing discomfort, fear, or a need for control. Dismissing their resistance as defiance without exploring the underlying cause can lead to missed opportunities for deeper therapeutic work. 6. Don\u2019t Immediately Abandon the Session While you shouldn\u2019t force the child to participate, completely giving up on the session right away might reinforce the idea that avoiding therapy is an option. Instead, be flexible\u2014sometimes meeting them where they are (literally and emotionally), adjusting the environment, or offering a different kind of engagement (e.g., talking outside the therapy room) can open the door to participation. 7. Don\u2019t Assume This Means Therapy Isn\u2019t Working A refusal doesn\u2019t mean therapy is failing. In fact, resistance can be a sign of progress\u2014it may indicate that difficult emotions are surfacing or that the child is testing whether the therapist will remain consistent and accepting. Instead of seeing it as a setback, consider it a moment of potential growth and trust-building. Final Thoughts Resistance in play therapy is normal, and how we handle it matters. By avoiding force, frustration, or over-explaining, and instead focusing on patience, curiosity, and flexibility, we can turn moments of refusal into opportunities for deeper understanding. Have you encountered resistance in your play therapy practice? What strategies have you found helpful? Let\u2019s keep the conversation going. Szilvia Veber PGDip  Certified Play Therapist Member of the PTUK & PTI ( A Registry Approved by the PSA)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2869,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-egyeb"],"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf.jpeg",1170,1195,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf.jpeg",1170,1195,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf.jpeg",1170,1195,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf-150x150.jpeg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf-294x300.jpeg",294,300,true],"large":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf-1003x1024.jpeg",960,980,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf.jpeg",1170,1195,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/image0ghf.jpeg",1170,1195,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"sylvieveber","author_link":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/author\/sylvieveber"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"Egy\u00e9b kateg\u00f3ria<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"In play therapy, we often focus on strategies to encourage engagement and build trust when a child refuses to attend a session. However, it\u2019s equally important to recognize what not to do in these situations. A misstep can reinforce resistance, damage trust, or even create unnecessary power struggles. Here are some key things to avoid when a…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2864"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2864\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2871,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2864\/revisions\/2871"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sylvieplaytherapy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}